What?! Gov. Cuomo Declares War…On Chicken Wings?


    As the novel coronavirus seems to be making a rather massive comeback, states, where the confirmed number of cases is growing significantly, are starting to restrict life as we know it again. Or should I say more, as some states have yet to release their citizens from the draconian lockdowns that have been in place since around March?

    As expected, the states experiencing the worst resurgence of the virus are those found on our coasts that are also known for their larger populations and bustling cities, such as California, Florida, New York, and Texas. And in nearly all of those, some of the most recent changes or rules for society have to do with bars, as it is believed that the young and dumb America who frequent these establishments are most responsible for the recent spike in cases.

    Texas has opted to close down bars entirely. California, while allowing most to remain open, has started banning food, such as nuts, which are known as a typical snack left out for all to freely partake of without regard to the many hands that touch the small morsels. New York has similarly just installed a new rule for bars in regards to food as well.

    While Governor Andrew Cuomo has opted not to shut down these establishments or ban foods, he has made sure that those who go there have to spend much more money. Basically, the new law requires bars to sell a “substantive” food with every alcohol purchase. So if you order a beer, you must also get a sandwich or something with it.

    The hope is that customers will be deterred from frequently bars at all since they will now have to spend at least twice, if not four or five times, as much money in their endeavor.

    However, as Gov. Cuomo made clear on Thursday, there seems to be a bit of an argument on what exactly is meant by “substantive foods.”

    Per his announcement, he stated, “To be a bar you have to have food available: soups, sandwiches, et cetera. More than hors d’oeuvres, chicken wings. You have to have some substantive food.”

    According to his words, soups and sandwiches are clearly “substantive,” and therefore, bars are allowed to sell them with their alcohol. However, it appears that chicken wings are not, as they seem to be listed after the governor’s mention of “hors d’oeuvres.”

    Earlier today, Governor Cuomo said chicken wings are not substantial food for bars to be allowed to sell alcohol. He added that sandwiches were the “lowest level” of substantive food. #Buffalo His comments: pic.twitter.com/zaSXgfEq6S

    — Stephen Marth (@StephenMarth) July 23, 2020

    Now, I can’t be the only one who thinks it’s odd that somehow chicken wings don’t make the cut. I can see things like a “handful of potato chips” or “half a carrot” to not count, as some bars have tried to pass off in defiance to Cuomo’s new rule. But chicken wings?

    There are entirely restaurant chains designated to the famous finger food. And in New York of all places, as it the birthplace of the chicken wing and Buffalo, as in Buffalo Wild Wings, you’d think Cuomo would know better.

    Then again, this is the same man who thought it would be a good idea to force COVID-19 infected elderly patients back into nursing homes, where it was only too likely that it would spread. As a result, Cuomo alone is responsible for the loss of over six percent of the state’s entire nursing home population.

    Still, too, there is the thought that this statement made by the not-so-with-it governor was more of a misstatement, a blunder, a gaffe, or whatever else you want to call it. Upon close inspection of the video, it seems that his mention of “hors d’oeuvres” is an interjection among his list of possible foods that are allowed.

    As one Republican New York state assemblyman says of Cuomo, “When he got those executive powers, his brain fried and he became like a king.” The governor now simply says what he says because he thinks he can get away with it. And just like with Biden, that power is getting the better of him.

    Since Cuomo’s message, the New York State Liquor Authority has come out with a set of new guidelines about the issue. And apparently, this seconds that idea that Cuomo simply misspoke, as wings are clearly listed as a possible sales item for food in bars.

    ’Other foods’ are foods which are similar in quality and substance to sandwiches and soups; for example, salads, wings, or hotdogs would be of that quality and substance; however; a bag of chips, bowl of nuts, or candy alone are not.”

    Argument solved: Wings are food, they are allowed in New York bars, and Cuomo is losing his mind a little more each day.


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